Glen Thoughts

Well Stars Week continues a little bit longer here, with a favourite song of mine. I have spent the past five days talking about ex-lovers, apologies, on-line dating, child rearing, and those three special words, but all I’ve wanted to talk about is a magical place called Peak Hill. To help with our enjoyment of this truly enchanting song, is this great fan-made video…

The rain fell hard on the roofs that day
You telephone from far away
I see the ocean from my room
All I could say was “are you coming home soon?”
The static whisper in my ear
But in a moment your voice was clear
“I need some time,” you said to me
That’s when I knew you were gonna make me lonely

You’re gonna make me wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away

You’re gonna make me wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away

I walk awhile before I sleep, count the secrets that I keep
I hope for more, I know for sure I fall apart before I weep
I disconnect the telephone, cause I can choose to be alone
I’ll get more done, I’ll have some fun, pretend you’re not the only one

And I’m never gonna wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away

You’re gonna make me wish for the time right before I was born
When every living breath was another new dawn
Like the time I was 5 at the top of Peak Hill
And the wind almost took me away

– Lyrics courtesy of Lyricsmania.com

Having your heart broken is a horrible, horrible experience. It leaves you weak, bitter and alone. Many, many songs have been written on the subject, but few capture it so well with such a light rhythm and innocent lyrics as this one.

With the light synth notes and the powerful, yet simple line of “you were gonna make me lonely” this song just feels childish. The harmonizing that Amy and Torq perform during this chorus makes the song sound like it belongs in a fairy tale.

The words they use in this song are so simple and to the point, “you’re going to make me wish for the time right before I was born”, is almost infantile in its approach to heartbreak. It is so natural to wish that a relationship never happened. However, these feelings tend to be cast aside as immature. This song does something that few others dare to do, it dares to be immature.

Near the end of the song, there is a hint of overcoming the adversity when they say “I’ll get more done, I’ll have some fun, pretend you’re not the only one” and then they change the chorus up by saying “And I’m never gonna wish for the time right before I was born”. However, a stanza later they go right back to the depressing chorus, showing us that maybe they weren’t empowered after all. This is an admission of failure in the healing process, and certainly not the actions of a mature, healthy individual.

While this is far from the first song written about break-ups, and probably far from the best. However, it certainly ranks among the most daring, as it is able to make the victim appear as a smaller person, which is certainly a rarity.

Whenever I get around to making a second round of Music to Wallow to, I know that I will include this song, which I am ashamed to say I had not heard when I made the first list. While this, and any songs of its kind, are meant to be downers, they are an important part of any healing process. It is important to be honest with yourself and your emotions, and few songs are as honest as this one.

Until next time,

G

Now that all four albums have been represented here during Stars Week, it’s time to give Set Yourself on Fire a second dose. After looking at sad songs for the first four days I’ll take a break and look at a great synth-filed, up-beat poppy song, enjoy “What I’m Trying to Say”.

You look so good in the clothes of a poser
And when you smiled all the kids fell apart here
I know a place where it’s warm and it’s dry, dear
Let me take you there

North of the river all the streets are the same
We can pretend that they don’t know our name
And the heat is turned all the way to full
So don’t pretend that you don’t feel the pull

I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
“I love you”

You look so good in the shoes of an outcast
I kissed your throat every time they said it wouldn’t last
But then I knew you, I knew you, I knew you
I really knew you

We fell apart in the parties of the empty heart
We danced the junkies in the shadows of bad modern art
We clicked our heels and we wished we were home
One more tab and your silk hits the chrome

I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
“I love you”

I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
“I love you”

Springs comes in when I’m rolling up another one
I draw the curtains in the glare of the same old sun
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer…
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer…

I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
“I love you”

I am trying to say
What I want to say
Without having to say
“I love you”

– Lyrics courtesy of AZLyrics.com

Three words can say so much, yet so little at once. They can move mountains, or make the world stand still. They can fly so effortlessly from your lips, or awkwardly fumble out of your mouth. They are the hardest words to instigate but the easiest to retaliate. They are the words that we never tell to everyone we need to. They are “I love you”.

The man in this song is clearly in love, as he struggles with his ability to express himself. While he does not want to say the dreaded three words, he is able to get this across with such words as “So don’t pretend that you don’t feel the pull” and “We are collapsed in the act of just being here”, which so vividly expresses the emotions that he is trying to convey.

The first three days of Stars Week were about ambiguity and double meaning, and yesterday was about disappointment, this one is about another common theme in Stars songs, growing up. I don’t have earth shattering memories of the first time that I ever told a girl that I loved them, but that’s because when you are young, it’s too easy. Every time you say it to someone new, you get a better understanding of just what it means, and therefore it gets harder and harder each time.

After you have been hurt once before it is so much harder to open up your heart, and tell someone how you really feel. Due to the increased difficulty, there is a desire to find alternate methods of expression and a need to skirt around the issue. However, it is once you have been hurt before that you need to let someone else in even more. While it is harder, it is even more important to find the words and say just what you are trying to say.

Until next time,

G

In the first three installments of Stars Week I have examined a song off of a different album each time. The trend continues today, as I take a look at a song off of their debut album Nightsongs entitled “The Very Thing”. While there was no official video for this song, there is this excellent fan made video featuring clips from Kramer vs. Kramer.

The bar closes early on the Sabbath day
So me and my kid, we hit the park to play
Then it starts to rain, so we walk home again
He asks why he was born, I don’t know what to say
I don’t feel guilty and I don’t feel sad
This motherfucking life is the best he’s had
I said “I’ve been there, sonny, and it ain’t that bad
I took my hits from the shits back when I was a lad”

So long ago, and even though I tried
I couldn’t make him see
The light that he had cast in front of me
And even though I cried, I couldn’t make him be
The very thing I needed

His mother would make a scene when I come home late
She looks like she’s dying and she’s twenty-eight
I never loved that whore, I never will no more
Except for a month back in ‘84
The jammin’ was playing and my heart stood still
Gazing at her shadow on the windowsill

So long ago, and even though I tried
I couldn’t make her see
I wasn’t quite the man she thought I’d be

And even though I cried, I couldn’t make her be
The very thing I needed

And even though I tried
I couldn’t make her see
I wasn’t quite the man she thought I’d be
And even though I cried, I couldn’t make her be
The very thing I needed

Could she be the very thing I needed?
Could she be the very thing?

Push yourself away from your one best friend
Who’s gonna love you when you reach the end?
Who will?
Who will?
Who will?

– Lyrics courtesy of Lyricsmania.com

There is one reaction that everyone fears getting from someone. It is not anger, not hatred, not even sadness. Oh no, it is far worse that that. It is disappointment.

Unlike the first few songs I have examined, this one has a relatively simple, yet powerful message, disappointments suck.

While, thankfully, I have never had to deal with being a negligent father, I can relate to the disappointment that echoes throughout this song. The main character (sang by Torq) identifies with a heavy heart not only the disappointment that he casts onto others (”Even though I tried/I couldn’t make her see/I wasn’t quite the man she thought I’d be”), but also the disappointment that others give him (”And even though I cried, I couldn’t make her be/The very thing I needed”).

Perhaps the saddest part of the song though is the line “Could she be the very thing I needed?”, which is said after repeating many times that she couldn’t be the very thing that he needed and that he “Never loved that whore”. This is exceptionally sad, because after giving and receiving so much disappointment, he begins to both accept and expect it.

As sad as heartbreak is, I think that someone staying in a relationship where they aren’t happy is far worse. To be with someone who you don’t love for want of a better alternative goes beyond tragedy. It is just plain disappointing.

Until next time,

G