Glen Thoughts

Welcome to the sixth of the nine part installment, looking back at different rankings of Wrestlemania matches. Right now, in honour of the 25 woman “Miss Wrestlemania” battle royal, I look back at all of the great (and not so great) Women’s wrestling matches that took place on the grandest stage of them all.

A really, really, really bad match. And I am not a harsh critic of women’s wrestling. These two had an unenviable position of following up the Triangle Ladder Match on the card, but they certainly did not deliver. This was just two women grabbing each others hair and rolling around. It blissfully ended with Mae Young performing a broncobuster on Moolah. I never thought that I would ever type that.

Another dull one. Sable was just turning from uber-face to indifferent heel as she took on more of her own personality as a prima-dona. Tori tried to challenge her, but Sable’s debuting bodyguard, Nicole Boss came down and cost Tori the match, thankfully ending the torture.

About as good as it sounds.

Ashley really had no place in the ring, as she was well over her head with a talented performer like Melina. This match was dull and served as a convenient break before the main event.

Pretty boring match, that was saved from being truly atrocious by being less than a minute.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: There is some perverse entertainment that comes after this)

On the other hand, this match had to be a squash, it really was the only way to end this feud. Chyna had been injured for months at the hands of the RTC, so this was the logical pay back, she had to get them, and she had to get them good. While logical, and crowd-popping, there was hardly enough here to get this to be ranked any higher.

The annual “Playboy Push” came to Hemme in 2005. She was really, really out of her league against Trish, who could not carry her to anything watchable. It seems no coincidence that Trish would take a few months off (with the title) shortly after this match.

The most recent addition to the list. These four ladies had to follow up the emotional Ric Flair retirement, and oddly the lights went out in the middle of the match. Still they had a decent affair, with the heels controlling enough of the offense, and getting the win to make it worthwhile. Also, Snoop Dogg knocking out Santino Marella was amazing.

Probably the worst placed match in the history of wrestling. These ladies had to follow up the surreal experience that was Rock-Hogan, and needless to say, the crowd wanted none of it. Still, they worked fairly hard. This match could have, and probably should have, had Trish win the belt in order to excite the Canadian crowd a little bit.

Much like the Backland-Hart encounter I discussed in the previous post, this was a horribly, horribly disappointing match. Both (male) wrestlers are incredibly talented, and a straight up one-on-one match between the two could have been great! Savage’s ability would have helped carry Dusty’s theatrics to a very good match (a la Hogan and Warrior), but alas they were saddled with two untrained women to team with them, and it really just never clicked what so ever. Probably the worst match of either of their career, certainly considering how young they both were at the time.

Part of a horribly offensive storyline that portrayed Stacey and Jackie as two women who were bitter that they weren’t allowed to pose for Playboy. Still, the ladies kept this match short enough to be as offensive in delivery as it was in hype.

It’s times like this that you’ve got to feel bad for Bam Bam. Here he was, a talented performer in his own right, teaming up with the terrifying Luna Vachon, to take on a clown and a midget clown. Thankfully he won, but the match wasn’t much to write home about, it just sort of was.

A marginally better offering from the same event. Like most of this card, it just helped to kill time between Bret-Owen and Shawn-Razor.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: And here is where they get to be watchable)

Again, another disappointing match. Both women here are more than capable, and are two of the greatest wrestlers to set foot in a WWE ring, yet they were given all of 5 minutes, and it just never worked out, which is quite the shame since they both have a ton of talent.

A fun little match with some pretty interesting dynamics. See Sable (who was a huge face) was feuding with Luna (a heel), but Marc Mero (a heel) and Goldust (also a heel) got involved and this match was set. Mero and Goldust were able to work some good stuff, and Sable was able to get the crowd mega-behind her before the finish.

I was hesitant to include this match, since it features one woman and five men. There were enough talented workers in the match to put on a good affair and stop it from being completely terrible. That being said, Chyna pinning Eddie Guerrero is something that never should have crossed my tv screen.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: And here is we get to the elite range)

While this may not have been the strongest match ever, the heat for this one was simply off the chart. This match was a huge draw to the original Wrestlemania, as Cyndi Lauper helped corner Richter. Many of these matches have been hurt by crowd reactions, but this one was immensely helped by it.

Two-thirds similar to their match from a year ago, but miles better. These three, very talented women, went out and gave a great performance that added to a really stacked-show.

A great, great, great match here. The storyline was very well thought out, as it took months of build to finally pay off in this big one-on-one show down. Both wrestlers played their part well, especially James who really had Trish (her idol) scouted and used her own moves against her. Well worth a view, even though some parts have been edited out on the DVD.

And there you have the good, the bad, and the ugly of the women of wrestling. Hopefully this edition makes it into the first category.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Posts:

The Openers
The Intercontinental Title
The Tag Team Titles
Celebrities
Extreme Rules
Women’s Matches
The Dead Man
The Showstopper
The Main Events

The rankings continue, in honour of the very exciting Hardy-Hardy match coming up, today we will look at the best matches to have no rules. Well that technically is not accurate, since every match needs to have some way to declare a winner (except one God awful match on this list), however there are many matches ranging from steel cage matches, to ladder matches, to falls count anywhere affairs, that have taken place that fully allow any sort of weapon or interference possible.

When compiling this list, I realize that the matches are among the greatest ones ever performed on the grand stage. As such, there are a relatively few near the bottom, and the vast majority of these belong in the upper echelon of Wrestlemania matches.

Simply put, an awful, awful match. It lacks any of the excitement, or intensity that the gimmick or event truly deserves. Bossman really was slowing down at this point, and gave the Undertaker nothing to work with, so we ended up with what is the worst pay-per-view Hell in a Cell match ever, by far. It all seemed like an excuse for an insulting post-match angle, when Edge, Christian and Gangrel hung the Bossman from the ceiling in a moment that should have killed him, but yet was never spoken of again.

Given the talent involved, I feel strange writing this match so low. While these two had a compelling classic at the Survivor Series before, this match was flat out boring. Bret Hart has stated that he felt that this was the worst match of his career, and it is easy to see why. Arguably the most disapointing match in Wrestlemania history.

I found little redeeming qualities in this match, as it just seemed like Hogan’s victory was never really in doubt, and it all seemed like a set up for Hogan to beat up Heenan at the end. Certainly worth a pass.

Not so much a match, as a show long angle between two wrestlers fighting. It started in the street early on in the show, only for Golddust to escape in a white Bronco (a la OJ Simpson, for anyone who doesn’t remember that Media side show) before coming into the arena. Oddly it ended when Piper stripped Goldust of his clothes to reveal women’s clothing underneath. Very bizare, and only perversely entertaining.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Here’s where we get our first of several very large jumps in quality)

To put this in context, I ranked this match #14 on my list of openers, and now here it is 10 spots lower. That has more to say about the quality of this list than it does about this match. A fairly innofensive hardcore match that could be seen all over the place from 1998-2001, if you’ve seen one of them, you’ve probably seen them all.

When this match was announced, it seemed like it was destined to be absolutely horrible, however it turned out to be a perfectly acceptable match, with the easy high point coming when the Undertaker (in his 40s no less) dives over the ropes, over the casket to nail Henry. Taker lifting Mark Henry up and delivering a Tombstone is simply awe inspiring.

What started out as Maven defending the hardcore title against Goldust turned into a great running gag throughout the show. During the match (which was rather bland) Spike Dudley ran down to the ring to pin Maven and win the title (this of course during the 24/7 rule of the title) Crash Holly ran out to try and win the title, only for the four men to run into the back. Throughout the night there were many great bits when different wrestlers including The Hurricane, Al Snow, Molly Holly, and Christian all won the title (or tried), before Maven snuck out a pin and left with the title that he started the show with. A fun joke throughout the evening.

A fun little match, that was a sort of going away part for Randy Savage. This match had a bizare rule, where the person who was pinned had to return to the ring within 60 seconds or they would lose. As a result, there were a few falls, before the match finished when Savage pinned Crush in the back, and tied him up in some scaffolding, which prevented him from returning to the ring. Some fun stuff, that was no doubt ahead of its time, but the match was lacking in the drama required for an epic blood feud.

Simply one of the most crazy fun matches in Wrestlemania history! There was a fifteen minute time limit, where the goal was to pin the hardcore champion. The title changed hands an unbelievable 9 times. This took the fun hardcore matches taking place at the time to a whole new level of entertainment.

I mentioned this in my entry for tag team wrestling. I don’t have much more to add, this was a fun match that served its purpose. All four men busted out some good spots, and the good guys won.

While I thought that it sucked at the time, I have grown to appreciate this match upon repeated viewings. These two did the best with what they had. They used the stipulation to hide their flaws, and delivered a pretty entertaining performance. The highlight of course being the Big Show take out Mayweather’s posse.

One of the few brightspots on a pretty terrible card. These six men had a fun hardcore match that ended with a sweet double Doomsday Device. It provided a good amount of closure to the long running Johnson-Faarooq feud and served as a catalyst for the breakup of the original Nation. Well worth a viewing.

As I have said a few times. Fun match, with an odd ending that I certainly do not approve of (still). That being said, any match that includes Finlay busting a tope, and JBL throwing stairs at Hornswoggle is worth watching.

Oddly, the lowest match to feautre Vince McMahon features the greatest in ring-performer of this generation. While Shawn certainly did his best, this match really just did not do it for me. There were some crazy bumps, including the leap off of the mega-ladder, but it really was just Shawn Michaels beating up Vince for a solid 18 minutes. While that is entertaining, it just wasn’t enough for me to get any higher than this.

A forgotten match from one of hte greatest wrestling events of all time. These three men walked the line almost perfectly between comedy and violence, as they used some violent, stiff moves, but still kept it light, with the golf cart chase. After Kane won, I was really hoping that Pete Rose would run out and try to take the title, but was slightly disappointed on that one. Still, probably the best match for hte Hardcore Title that did not involve RVD.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Now here is where it starts to get really, really good)

While the second installment of the now annual Money in the Bank Tradition was full of some excellent moments, including Shelton risking his life for our pleasure and the drama of Flair almost grabbing the case, it was probably the worst match in the series. Most of the spots were repeats of the previous years masterpiece, and RVD was the most logical winner, as much as I wanted to believe that Flair would pull of a miracle.

I remember watching this match with several of my friends, fully expecting to hate it. I felt that two men in their fifties would not be able to pull off anything that was even remotely entertaining, and yet, here I have it ranked higher than several great matches. These two men pulled out all of the stops, including Vince McMahon of all people jumping off of a ladder, and one of the best Wrestlemania surprises ever, in a Roddy Piper run in. Hogan won, as everyone was expecting, but it was a great deal of fun.

Probably the most overbooked matches in wrestling history. See, Vince got a divorce from Linda (who was knocked into a comma) and was cheating on him with Trish Stratus. Shane decided to come to his father’s aid, but then just before the event, it was announced that the WWF purchased WCW, but it was revealed that Shane had boughten it underneath his fathers nose, adding a whole new dimension to the rivalry. Ohh, and Mick Foley (who had been fired by Vince) was named the special guest referee for this match. This probably had the highest scope of outside interference of any match ever, as all sorts of people at the time were expecting some sort of WCW run in. However, it certainly did not need it, as Trish turned on Vince, Linda walked again to attack him, Foley beat him up, and Shane delivered a Van Terminator (coast to coast dropkick) for the win. Confused? Can’t say that I blame you, but it all added up to be a really entertaining match.

I already raved about this match when talking about the greatest opening matches in the history of the event. As I said then, this easily had the biggest names in the history of the match, as it featured three former world champions, two men who would go on to be world champion, two more who I think will be world champions soon enough, and a well respected veteran. This had some of the highest highs, but tended to drag between the spots, which prevents it from being even higher up on the list.

Had this been on almsot any other card in history, it would have received more hype, and be better remembered than it has been. This truly was a match between two of the all-time greats, and it certainly did not disappoint. Both men brought their A-game and were sure to deliver a fun brawl. The most obvious highlight being the return of Arn Anderson to deliver a picture perfect spinebuster. My one complaint with this match was a bit too one sided, as Flair should have been given more offense.

One of the highlights of last years Wrestlemania. All seven men performed very well, and it was much better paced than the previous years performance. Shelton Benjamin proved to be a highlight again, especially when he balanced himself with one foot on top of the ladder, but the real star of the show to me was John Morrison, who busted out a great moonsault with the ladder. Well done by all men, and I was glad to see CM Punk get the win, even if his title reign left a lot to be desired.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: And now we get into the epic range)

A seemingly random pairing that had less build than it probably should have, but turned out to be a great match. Both men really fought like they had something to prove, Edge that he belonged in the main event, and Foley that he could still make another heel (a la Rock, Triple H, and Orton) and deliver a solid match. The two fought a great affair, that showed just how great of a performers they both are. They slowly built all of the high spots (especially the table on fire) and had the crowd eating out the palm of their hands, until they finally delivered. The obvious highlight of the match was Edge going face first into freakin’ fire. A very manly performance.

The first and still the best of the annual match. Going into the match I really wasn’t sure as to what to expect, as we had never seen something quite like this on such a big stage. Yet all six men (seven, counting Tomko) played their part to perfection. I especially liked the beginning where all of the men took turns diving onto everyone, until Kane ended it by jumping onto six other people. Also, Benoit’s selling during this match was amazing, and stands out as one of the best sell jobs of his long illustrious career. The highlight though was Shelton Benjamin running up one ladder to knock Jericho off of another ladder, Spiderman style. Edge’s victory here helped set up his “Ultimate Opportunist” character that we all know and loathe to this day.

A simply ground-breaking match. Sure we had seen ladder matches before, but nothing quite like this. These six men brought organized chaos to the big leagues and it’s hard not to love every single minute of it.

It’s hard to compare the back-to-back Wrestlemania encounters here, but I prefer this one ever so slightly. While they repeat a number of the same spots that they had done at Wrestlemania 2000, and Summerslam 2000, and the long-forgotten Raw ladder match between Edge and Christian and the Hardyz, this one just seems to be so much…more somehow. The addition of the three extra people as allies really helped make this even more of a train wreck, and it’s hard not to love that. However, unlike most trainwrecks, this one ages quite well and is still as jaw dropping now as it was eight years ago.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Here is were we enter the legendary range, with three matches that any and every wrestling fan should have seen a number of times by now)

A match that is impossible not to love. These two men pulled out a very rare mix of high spots and story telling and gave us a true classic. It was here that Shawn Michaels officially became Mr. Wrestlemania, and he hasn’t looked back since.

The fourth match from Wrestlemania X-Seven to be featured on this list, which oddly, was not even supposed to be under consideration here. It was only announced at the last second that it would be a No Disqualification match, which should have been the first sign that something strange was going on.

Now, I don’t want to talk too much about this match here, since I would like to save it for my post on the best main events (spoiler alert: this will be ranked quite high on the list), but if you just need to know how much I love this match head on back to a post from two years ago.

It could only be topped by one thing, it’s necessary precursor.

Quite possibly the greatest match to ever take place in wrestling history. These two combined scientific wrestling with pure bloody hatred in an amazing match. These two simply pulled out all of the stops, from foreign objects, to guest referees, to blood to give us an amazing encounter. This match launched “Stone Cold” into mega-star status, and turned Bret Hart to his very intriguing heel character that he would end his WWF tenure on. While it wouldn’t officially change, this match would set the WWF up for their amazing attitude era that would revolutionize the genre, and make it relevant once more.

Lofty? Of course. Inaccurate? No way. This is the match that spawned Austin and wrestling to new heights, and to think that the WWF was close to bankrupcy as this event approached, and this match probably saved it from happening.

Like the previous match, I have spoken about it once before, so give it a read if you want to know the history of this one.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Posts:

The Openers
The Intercontinental Title
The Tag Team Titles
Celebrities
Extreme Rules
Women’s Matches
The Dead Man
The Showstopper
The Main Events

Greetings one and all for the 4th of nine installment of my Wrestlemania rankings countdown. Today, in honour of Chris Jericho’s Mikey Rourke fueled feud with the legends of wrestling, we will look at the best celebrity involvement on the grandest stage of them all. While there have been a number of wrestlers who served as guest ring announcers, or time keepers, those will be ignored. We are only going to look at the 11 times (by my count) that a celebrity has been involved in a match, in one way or another.

While this was not an official sanctioned match, it took far, far too much time to be ignored. The Miller Light Cat Fight Girls (it’s ok if you forget who they are), were being interviewed, when Stacey and Tori came down, and a catfight ensued. If anyone ever asks, this is why RVD/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Morley was bumped to Sunday Night Heat. Such a crime.

One of the shortest, and most ill-advised matches to ever take place. For those of you who may not remember, the Brawl For All, was a bizarre attempt at a legitimate torunament that the WWF tried in 1998. They had felt that Dr. Death Steve Williams would win, and be a good challenger for Austin in the fall, however, Bart Gunn legitametly knocked him out in the second round of their match. Sensing an opportunity to push Gunn, the WWF worked his final two matches, to have him knock out his opponents. Sadly though, just about everyone in the tournament, including Gunn and Williams, were injured and had to take several months off as a result. When Gunn finally returned from injury (and I believe some time in Japan) he was pushed as a very tough wrestler, so logically he had to challenge Butterbean, who was a sideshow boxer at the time. Of course, keeping with the great idea, this match would not be scripted, and be fought “for real”.

The most important thing to notice here is that it probably took you just as long to read about that as it did for the match to happen, as Butterbean won the match in 35 seconds, and this match (and the Brawl for All Tournament) was never spoken of again. I don’t ever remember seeing Bart Gunn on WWF programming after this.

On the other end of the “ill-advised decision” spectrum is this match. Which, while still a bad move, was for a different set of reasons. Pipper and T had been involved in the main event of Wrestlemania the year before (more on that to come later), and their feud continued throughout the year. It was decided that it woudl be settled in a boxing match. However, unlike the Bart Gunn – Butterbean disaster, this would be worked. What resulted was 13 minutes of a boring, slow paced boxing match with no legitimate punches getting thrown. The only redeeming quality was Piper freaking out between rounds and throwing his stool.

The misery was stopped when Piper bodyslammed Mr. T to earn himself a disqualification.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Big, huge jump here to the next number, as all of them above here were quite good and actually added to the program)

One of the big attractions to Wrestlemania 2, and the second last match of the Chicago portion of the evening, was the WWF vs. NFL battleroyal, featuring a mixture of wrestlers and football players. This was a great showdown of titans, and helped bring in a great deal of fans to the event, which makes it a hard one to fault. The football players looked fine in the match, as they did not have to perform any real wrestling moves, and thankfully, it was won by a wreslter, and certainly one believable enough to eliminate the large football palyers.

THE selling point for Wrestlemania 23 was the showdown between Donald Trump and Vince McMahon, via their charges. The story being that they were having differences and wanted to settle them in a match, and they would both pick a representative. Trump picked Lashley while Vince picked Umaga. The two wrestlers had an entertaining enough match, that ended with a Lashley victory, and Vince’s head was shaved in a fun Wrestlemania moment.

This certainly was a fun match and fun celebrity involvment, but it woudl have been more highly ranked had Trump been a better talker, and Bobby Lashley had stuck around for longer than he did.

This was legitametly a highlight of the attitude era Wrestlemanias. It all started when Rose was serving as a guest ring announcer before the Kane-Undertaker match at Wrestlemania XIV, he ran down the crowd, only for Kane to come to the ring, chokeslam and tombstone baseball’s hit king. While that was entertaining enough, the next year, Pete Rose would run down again and attack Kane, only for the Big Red Machine to get the upper hand again. The next year, it would happen once more, this time with Rikishi (Kane’s partner in the tag match) giving Rose a stinkface.

While Kane was fighting for the hardcore title at Wrestlemania X-Seven, I really hoped that after he won, Pete Rose would run in and steal a pin on Kane to get the title, before Kane would tombstone him again, but sadly, the tradition ended after three very entertaining years and moments.

Probably the best wrestler vs. celebrity match ever. These two had a surprisingly competitive match, and Bigelow had no problem making Taylor look like a million bucks. This is one of few non world-title matches to close Wrestlemania, and is one of the few bright spots on an otherwise forgettable card.

An insanely important match in the history of wrestling. While there had been previous celebrity involvment in matches, it had never been like this. This received a huge amount of hype, and was central to the entire “Wrestlemania” concept coming to be. Sure the match wasn’t that great, but it helped make it all happen.

But there was another…

That’s right, I have this one a slight nod. After appearing on television a number of times, Cyndi Lauper got involved with the women of wrestling, and feuded with Leilani Kai and her manager, the Fabulous Moolah. She got herself a “temporary managers license” to stand in the corenr of Wendi Richter. While the match was far from spectacular, Lauper’s involvment was a huge boost to the event, and got everything featured on MTV, which was new and hip at the time (and actually played music). This helped get a lot of people into wrestling, and helped create a huge amount of life long fans.

A huge, huge, huge match, with a huge, huge, huge celebrity involvment. It was announced that Mike Tyson, the baddest man on the planet, would be involved at Wrestlemania. When he showed up on Raw, Steve Austin got in his face and a shoving match ensued. A few weeks later, Tyson showed up on Raw, and he ended up siding with Shawn Michaels and his group, D-X. This received a *huge* amount of coverage on news agencies, and it became a big deal. During the match though, Tyson switched sides, and joined Austin, giving him the victory and officially starting the most profitable era that the WWF ever experienced.

The countdown to Wrestlemania continues with a look at at the best matches for the Tag Team Titles being counted down. The upcoming title unification bout between Miz and Morrison against the Colons is going to be the 21st tag team title match, and to be honest, I think that it has a legitimate potential to be in the Top 3 all time.

Here are it’s contenders…

Such a shame that a match with four talented workers can be ranked so low, but them’s the breaks. See the back story to this match was pretty negligible. Owen and Jarrett were without a challenger (since Mark Henry had suffered an injury, thus leaving D’Lo without a partner), as such, the WWE decided to have a special battle royal during the pre-show with the last two finalists getting to challenge for the title, thus the random pairing of D’Lo and Test. The match was very short and unspectacular, with the champions retaining after the challengers continued to fight. Given the talent in this match, it could have been great with more time or more of a story, but sadly it lacked both, and remains a boring and sad footnote on Wrestlemania history.

A sad addition to one of my favourite events of all time. The super team of Ted Dibiase and IRS were running rough-shot over the tag team division. The Natural Disasters of Earthquake and Typhoon seemed like logical opponents. However, even the veterans of Dibiase and Rotunda couldn’t pull a great match out of the big lugs, and gave us a slow, plodding affair. Worst of all, the champions walked out for an intentional countout in a pretty low and boring move.

The match was originally billed as Owen Hart and a “Mystery Partner” challenging The Smoking Gunns. While at the time, it seemed like Jim Niedhart would be the most logical partner, it ended up being the 500lb former world champion. The match was essentially an extended squash as the challengers simply manhandled the Smoking Gunns. The match was a rather slow and uneventful affair, with the only worthwhile moment coming after the finish of the match when Owen Hart celebrated like he won the World Title, Academy Award and Super Bowl all at once.

Demolition were a very good tag team, and both members of The Colossal Connection, Andre the Giant and Haku had their share of good matches, but this was certainly not the time or the place. Andre the Giant was at the end of the line, and he very clearly knew it. He did not step into the ring, as Haku spent the entire match in the ring. This was simply an excuse to get the title off of The Colossal Connection and to turn Andre face, so that he could fade off into retirement soon after. A sentimental affair, but not much more than that.

You have to hand it to these guys, as this was probably the best match that these two teams were capable of, certainly with a count-out finish. That being said, it really wasn’t that great, with the double suplex of Mabel being the high point of the match. As with most of this card, it really served as filler between the big matches.

Speaking of filler, we have the very definition of it here. This match was randomly announced, with the three challengers having to qualify a few weeks before the event. This match was short and largely forgettable. Thankfully though, the team that was far too good for this match ended up winning.

If you want to see why this card is so despised look no further. This was easily the second best match of the night, and see where it ranks on this list. This was Hogan’s big return to challenge the evil heel tag champions with his good friend Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. This match was heavily hyped with the crowd being really into it. That being said, the lame disqualification finish did nothing for me, and made me feel like I was wasting my time.

Wrestlemania XX was the only card to see both the WWE Tag and World Tag titles defended (since the World Tag Title match at XIX was on the pre-show) and neither of them had much in the way of back-story to them, and neither of them were very good. Chances are, these matches being what they were no doubt helped lead to the creation of the Money in the Bank match taking palce the next year as a way to get the mid to upper card wrestlers a place on the card.

This match was marginally better than the other one, and that was mostly due to the portion of the match when Haas and Benjamin controlled the offense. The champs retained in this match, in yet another bland match that was not much to write home about.

Fine little match that the crowd was firmly behind. The very pro-America tag team champions defended against the common foes of the Soviets and the Iranians (note: Wrestling has never fully matched the real world of geo-politics). However, the heels were able to pull of a huge upset of a victory, which nearly sent the crowd into a riot. Like the Maniacs-Money Inc. match, the crowd helps pull this one up a few spots.

The only match on this list that I previously mentioned. Not the greatest match at all, and I fully believe that the wrong team won here. Not much to add that I didn’t mention already. Hopefully Carlito can deliver more this year!

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Here is an infamous break point, as the matches above here get considerably better)

Fun little match, as the face champions, Demolition, fought against their old manager and his new clients in a handicap match. The build to this match is one of the few times that the WWE has been able to pull of a double turn successfully and they deserve to be commended here. The finish to the match came as Fuji got stuck in the ring with Demolition, only to be hit with the Decapitation Device, for the victory. While not a classic, this was fun, harmless, and had a satisfying ending.

Unlike the Wrestlemania XX matches, this would be an elimination match. This match started out decent enough, with all teams running around and hitting their big moves, but after the rapid-fire eliminations of the APA and the Dudleyz, the quality dropped. Like the Wrestlemania XX matches, the champs retained, and also like the Wrestlemania XX matches, not much was done as a follow up to this. But a big step up from the XX matches.

Essentially a tag-team equivalent of a casket match, as both members of a team had to be thrown into a dumpster and the lid had to be closed. This was in the middle of the New Age Outlaws rise to fame, but just before they joined DX, so they were not quite at mega-star level yet. The crowd was quite into this feud as it had gotten rather personal, since the Outlaws had severely injured both Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie. The match was a great hardcore style encounter, with all four men pulling out some fan hardcore spots. The finish came when the challengers used a forklift to put their opponents into a dumpster backstage. Even though the Outlaws would regain the title the very next night on RAW, the challengers needed a moral victory (like this) on a big stage to give closure to the feud. Well done by all.

The Hart Foundation was seeking revenge against their original manager, Jimmy Hart, who was with his new clients, The Nasty Boys. In a great fast-paced match, Jimmy Hart used his megaphone against a team that had been the beneficiary of those shots more than any other over the course of their career. This would be the last match for the Hart Foundation, as Bret would start his rise to superstardom after this. A solid ending to a great team.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Here is one of the famed splits, as the matches above here are into the very-good to great range)

Fun match on an otherwise horrendous card. Given the absolute glut of talent involved in this match that really should be of no surprise. This is one of the rare occasions when the WWE has ever really done a heel vs. heel match, certainly at Wrestlemania. They had been teasing a Bulldog face turn (which would have fit nicely), but apparently they wanted to keep Hart and Bulldog as heels so that they could reform the Hart Foundation since Bret was turning heel, so those plans were scrapped at the last minute. The alignments certainly hurt the match, as it made it difficult to cheer for either team, however the worst part was definitely the finish to the match, as it ended in a double countout. That being said, this is easily the best double countout match between two heels that you will ever find.

Great match between six great performers. The champions retained in a wild flurry of a finish, that saw them steal a pin on Chavo Guerrero after he was nailed with a Gore by Rhyno. While it was a touch short, it certainly was a great one. Were this match to take place on a weaker card it would probably be more fondly remembered.

Demolition kicked off their legendary 478 day reign with a bang in this great match. Both teams played off one another well in one of the few good matches on a long and boring card. A simple, effective big team vs. little team encounter, and certainly well worth a view.

Finally, Wrestlemania 2 gets some praise on this blog! This was easily the best match of the night, as both teams delivered and then some in the main event of the Chicago portion of the evening. This match has one of the most creative finishes ever, as Davey Boy Smith uses his partners head (which was notoriously hard) as a foreign object to lead to a victory.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Like the Intercontinental Title List, this was a clear cut choice between 2 matches. However, unlike the other list, these two matches are remarkably similar)

A great match that put all six men on the map, in their Wrestlemania debuts. The men absolutely revolutionized both the ladder match and tag team wrestling, and took it to new heights (quite literally). A great match from start to finish, and it could only be topped by one thing, a rematch.

Simply put, watch this match. These men took everything that they had done the year before and upped it. While I think that their encounter from Summerslam 2000 was the best of this trilogy, this match is not far behind. The addition of Lita, Spike Dudley, and Rhyno, essentially made this a nine person affair, and only added to the carnage. From Jeff Hardy’s super Swanton to Edge’s mega spear, this match is full of jaw dropping moments. You can understand why the WWE did not decide to redo this again the following year, since it simply would have been too much, and someone could have gotten seriously injured, thus making this match all the more special.

Welcome back as I once more continue my Wrestlemania Rankings. In honour of Rey Mysterio’s challenge to JBL, this time we will be focusing on the best of the Intercontinental Title Matches of Wrestlemania’s yore. Sadly, this once prestigious title that has brought us some of the great matches underlined, but hasn’t been showcased at the Grandest Stage of them All in the past six events! Thankfully that streak will end, in what should be a good match between two wrestlers who have a long and storied history with one another.

This will be the 17th Wrestlemania Intercontinental Title Match ever, and the other 16 rank as follows…

Certainly not the most glamourous Wrestlemania debut for a man who would go on to be one of the greatest of all-time. Rocky Miavia (not yet Dwayne Johnson, not yet The Rock) would have a very boring 9 minute encounter. While that is certainly forgiveable, the truly insulting part is the aftermath. After Rocky gets a fluke roll-up to win, The Sultan’s managers, Bob Backland and Iron Shiek join in for a 3-on-1 beat-down of the champion, only for Rocky’s father, Rocky Johnson, to run down to make the save for his son. Simply a horrible way to get your good young face over, by having him need the help of his retired father. Thumbs down all around.

Well here we are three weeks until the biggest day on any wrestling geek’s calender, the Grandest Stage of Them All. In the past two years I have done a variety of different post themes to celebrate the event, including a reflection with my friends on some of our favourite matches/moments, retelling the story of the event, and a ranking of the cards. In deciding what to do this year, I came up with an extension of the ranking idea that I did last year. I felt no need to redo a ranking, since there was only one more card added to the list, and very little has changed in my mind in the past twelve months. Instead, I will look at different events that have occurred in multiple events over the years, including Best Main Events, Best Matches of Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, Best Intercontinental Title Matches, and the one that I will feature today, The Best Opening Matches.

The opening match on a card is incredibly important, as it is charged with raising the crowds excitment and helps get them involved in the rest of the show. Often times in involves the smaller, or faster wrestlers pulling death defying moves to get the crowd on their feet, and other times it involves popular wrestlers who the crowd will start to cheer from right from the beginning. So without further ado, here are (in my humble opinion) the rankings of the first 24 opening matches in Wrestlemania history.

The idea was sort of there. Take a big name like Orndorf out there early to get the crowd pumped, but the execution was all wrong. They should have had Orndorf go over clean to start the crowd out happy, but instead they ended with a boring, slow match that went to a double countout. They had many other matches that would have been great openers, including the NFL Battle Royal or the Tag Title Match, but those two matches were scheduled for the Chicago portion of the card, so were of little use here. Like many things about Wrestlemania II, this match had a good idea but came out flat in the execution. You’ve got to admire McMahon for trying again (and getting it right) the next year.

I don’t think that they had many other choices on this really very dull card. These two put on what was essentially an extended squash for Martel to showcase his talents. It seemed more like a match to main event Superstars, and less of a match to open the biggest show of the year.

And so continued the obvious tradition of trying to get as many men onto the card as possible. I quite enjoy a good battle royal, but this was certainly not one. The rules were complicated, with one member of a team having to be eliminated, and hardly ever followed (Mark Henry hung around for minutes after his partner had been eliminated). Also, there were a few moments with outside interference from Barry Windham and Kurrgan the Interrogator. They really should have been involved in a match to begin with. Also, the outcome was incredibly obvious from the get go when LOD 2000 was lead to the ring by Sunny.

Wrestlemania 2000 started off great, with a very over face (The Godfather) coming to the ring being lead by a celebrity singing his new theme song (Ice T). It seemed like a sure fire way to start things off nicely. However, instead of having a nice, fun match, they ended up with a plodding, slow affair that ended with the heels winning, cleanly. For shame booking team, for shame.

How the mighty had fallen. The year prior, Lex Luger had looked to be on his way to the World Title at the event, and a few months prior, Davey Boy Smith was about to win the Royal Rumble and challenge for the title at this event. Yet, here they were in a team against The Blu Brothers in a dull and relatively meaningless encounter. Luger was well past his prime here, and Davey Boy was not against the right opponent, thus putting them in a fair amount of trouble here. All in all, not the greatest match, and a sub-par start to a sub-par event.

I really don’t know who thought this was a good idea to open up any show. Neither of these two were particularly over, and neither were really capable of putting on an exciting match. Somehow though, these two put on just about the best possible match imaginable, and saved this one from being better than at least five other encounters.

I always kind of enjoyed elimination tag matches, they give a good amount of interaction between a good amount of teams. This was a fun match and every team really played their part well. However, my biggest complaint is the prize, it was a #1 Contenders Match for (I believe) the next night on Raw. Wrestlemania should end storylines, and not lead to throw away matches.

The answer to any trivia questions about the first match in Wrestlemania history. This was a fun match, involving a relatively over face getting a clean win. While it could have been more competitive, it certainly had the right idea, with the right man going over.

Like many of the other matches here, I can’t for the life of me think of why this was the opener, when JBL-Benoit, the Money in the Bank Match, or even Booker T-Boogeyman would have done a much better job, but yet here we were. This match was a rather slow, and plodding affair (to the surprise of nobody) and probably had the wrong team go over. What bothers me most about this match was that it meant nothing in the long term, as Kane and The Big Show lost the titles the very next night, and both teams had split up in a month.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Here is where the matches go from being bland to good. As such, there is a considerable jump from #16 to #15, but a much slower jump until #5)

The start of Shawn Michaels’s singles push, and ascent to the wrestling history books as Mr. Wrestlemania. While this was hardly the most auspicious of starts, he still showed some signs of greatness. Of course, this would have been much better had it been his show down with Marty Jannetty, but he was away either “selling the injury” or “in rehab” depending on who you believe here. This was a fun match, between two very talented performers, but it lacked the necessary emotion to push it into greatness.

The Wrestlemania debut of the Hardcore title was a fun, garbage filled encounter. It probably had the wrong winner, as Al Snow was the unquestioned fan favourite, but it worked out better to set up a Holly-Snow showdown later on. This match would have been ranked considerably higher had it involved the Road Dogg, as it was supposed to, and not had the very bizarre and non-sensical switch of the New Age Outlaws at the last minute.

Shawn Michaels’ ascent to the top of the wrestling world was well under way here, and he was setting the world on fire as a great Intercontinental Champion. He put on a great showcase with the then-undefeated Tatanka. However, the match was marred by a boring disqualification finish, and like a few other matches mentioned, it did not really have the storyline build, as Shawn’s real feud seemed to be with Mr. Perfect, who he would cost a match for later on in the show.

This match is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. I quite enjoy a good six to ten man tag team match, and this certainly was one of those. The stipulation was that if Yokozuna’s team won then he woudl get five minutes alone with Jim Cornette in the ring, which got the crowd begging for some sort of cumupence for the big man. This really added, and helped take attention away from the obviously infererior talents of the face side. The heels worked a good match (no surprise) and the faces all stayed in the ring for a short time, thus keeping the action fresh. I still question having the faces (including Ahmed Johnson, who they were pushing hard at the time) take the loss though.

As I said last year “I thought that this was an interesting choice to open up the show, especially when they had the Money in the Bank match right afterwards. This match was pretty fun, especially when Finlay busted out a tope. The ending was pretty deflating, as JBL hit Finlay with a kendo stick, and then got a clean win (i.e. interference free). I thought that a Finlay victory was a sure thing here. I guess not…”. Not much for me to add, fun match, with the wrong winner from a storyline point of view.

Not exactly the most fast past of openers, but still a good match none the less. It got a very over young face out there first, and gave him the first of many Wrestlemania moments for him. The match was hurt by The Big Show’s obvious injuries, however, the two still strung together and entertaining encounter that kicked off one of the best cards in Wrestlemania history.

The last time that the Intercontinental title was defended at Wrestlemania, was a fun opener between two wrestlers with very different styles. It showcased Van Dam’s ability to take a beating, as it looked like he was damn near dead on one of Regal’s suplexes. While I understand them wanting to put RVD over with the title on the big stage, the feud seemed very forced, and Regal’s prior feud with Edge was never really resolved, so a switch of partners between RVD and Edge could have gone a long way to improving this rather dull card.

Essentially the prototype for fun opening matches. Two over teams in the mid-card, putting on a fast pace match with the faces going over in an exciting style.

A very a-typical opening match, but it worked here. While logic would have put one of the tournament matches up first in order to use the Battle Royal as a “breather” of sorts in between rounds, however, this match went a long way to entertaining the crowd. The ending was particularly legendary, as Bad News looked to split the award with Bret Hart, however he decided to turn on Hart and keep the trophy for his own, only for Hart to return and smash it in a moment of heel-on-heel tension that really was ahead of its time.

Had this been on any other card it could have been a contender for match of the night. However, given that it was on arguably the greatest wrestling event of all time, it could not even crack the top five of the evening. While this was a great match, with the right man going over, it felt rushed, thus preventing it from ranking higher on the list.

Fun, simple match that fit in a text book formula of power vs. speed. All four men played their parts well, and put on a great match. Easily the best of Micheals’s three straight opening performances.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The next jump up is a very large one, as the top four matches really are a cut above their competition)

The Wrestlemania debut of the cruiserweight title was a fun and entertaining match between two very talented performers. While this was really just the start of their feud, which would culminate in a main event match on Smackdown in the summer, this was still a fun match. IU even did not mind the heel victory in the opener as it came suddenly and set up for what was actually a very memorable feud.

Speaking of great feuds, this match kick started one of the best feuds that the WWE has put together in the decade, between two of the most talented performers in the history of the industry. While this match did not match their earlier encounters from WCW, or their later (more hate filled) matches during the year, this was still a great exhibition, and was filled with many great moments as Eddie clearly contemplated cheating against his friend, but let his conscious get the best of him, costing him the match.

While not the greatest Money in the Bank match, it certainly was the most star-studded, as it included three former world champions, and a number of rising stars. This match featured some great moments, including the Green Bay Plunge from the top of the ladder to Hornswoggle, Jeff Hardy nearly killing Edge, and a great RKO buffet by Orton. All 8 men worked hard and had a great match, with a shocker of an ending, and an amazing post-victory promo from Kennedy.

While I had difficulty with a number of my choices, there really was no debate as to which match should top this list. Not only does this match easily top this list, it would probably top the list of best opening matches of any wrestling show, at any time. The storyline and build really was great, and the match was simply a classic. Both men delivered a technical classic, that featured counter upon counter, in what is legitematly one of the greatest matches that the WWF/E has ever put on. Owen’s sudden victory was great and played off of him being only three seconds better than his brother, and really made Bret’s celebration at the end of the night all the greater.

So there we have the list of the opening matches. Keep turning back here for more lists as we get closer, and closer to April 4th.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Posts:

The Openers
The Intercontinental Title
The Tag Team Titles
Celebrities
Extreme Rules
Women’s Matches
The Dead Man
The Showstopper
The Main Events